[	mood	|	thoughtful	]
[	music	|	Movie - Prozac Nation	]

So, I havent updated this thing in forever.  Seems to be the story of my life with this journal.  It's more the mere fact that my life is just either uneventful or full of shit that I'd rather not talk about to people.  The people that know are obviously the people that I want to know. 

I was at work today and heard a song that just well, kinda suits everything thats going on right now.  It's country and generally I'm not a country fan, but it's a good song. 

"You'll Think Of Me"

I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

--------------------------------------------------

I'm not really certain about what I want to do with my life.  I don't know whether to stay in Charleston or move to another city.  Ideally, I want out.  But, I like my apartment and I like living with Brandi.  Just sometimes I have this lack of hope that the "right things" are here for me in WV.  I guess that maybe I just feel trapped here in WV, like my life will just keep repeating itself and never stop.  Here's an idea, maybe I need to stop letting myself get hurt  (I'm working on this one). 

I got to have two Thanksgivings this year (great fun and food/ shitty on the diet). lol. Monday Brandi and I made Thanksgiving dinner.  Our first at the apartment.  It was really good, kudos to Brandi for making an amazing turkey.  Then on thursday I went up to Parkersburg and had dinner with my mom and dad. I don't get to see them often anymore, so it's great to see them.  I miss them, I just hate that godforsaken town.  So many memories.... good and bad. The bad ones....are well bad and the good ones are just depressing and make me want to shoot myself at point blank range.  Literally being there brings the sudden urge to puke.  Which is probably why I don't go up there much. 

Anyway, Im moving on with my life. Thank you to Brandi and Erik for that.  You two help me more than you'll ever know. 

Bran:  You're my sister, you always will be. You've supported me with every decision I've ever made whether you agree with it or not. I'll never know how to thank you.   I dont think i've ever met another girl that I get along with so well.  Maybe all best friends should start out hating eachother?!  hahahaa.  You're the best friend a girl could ever have.  No matter what men we go through in life.... we'll always have eachother (god i sound like a lesbian there... sorry..... strictly in a friends way.  Haha, i like the male gender waaaayyyyyy too much!).

Erik: Who would have thought all those years ago that we'd be what we are today.  You're my best friend, without your hugs and unconditional love.... I don't know what i'd do.  So many memories, great ones.  Joo Rock!  Always will.  You're the one I run to.  I'm sorry for that most of the time, but I know you'll always be there.  I put you through a ton of bullshit.  Goose Goose. 

That's all for now 

MaryCat~